Are the Scissor Sisters now modelling themselves on the Bee Gees or Wham? What happened to the seventies Stones/Aerosmith image? I quite liked some stuff from their debut album but after seeing their latest efforts, and contrary to a view once expressed by Leo Sayer, I don't feel much like dancing either.

Will the Beckhams be moving to Glasgow? Now, that really would take the biscuit. Reports this week link David Beckham with a possible move to Celtic. Gordon Strachan, the coach of the Scottish champions is a man well known for his tongue-in-cheek comments. So when he responds to the speculation by saying he has Beckham's phone number, we shouldn't really take him at his word. But it's a fuel nonetheless to the Scottish football press who could create a story out of a couple of matchsticks and a piece of thread.

It might have been a surprise when another former Man U. player, Roy Keane, moved to Celtic but Los Beckham is a different proposition. Can you imagine Posh going shopping at the Parkhead Forge? Or David taking the weans down the river rapids at the Time Capsule in Coatbridge? Nah, me neither. Strachan himself, summed up how ridiculous the notion is: "I can just see my wife Lesley and I sitting down to rhubarb tarts with Victoria at the Tunnock's factory in Uddingston."
You should try the teacakes, Gordon.

I failed to mention in these pages that a few months ago I moved from Catalonia to Galicia. At around 700 miles it's more than a hop from Barcelona on the east coast to La Coruña in the west.One of the consequences of this move is that I am encountering yet another new language. I have left Catalan behind and am becoming acquainted with Galician (galego). It's fun watching and listening to Galician TV. Although the language is not heard that much on the streets of La Coruña, I like to tune into TVG (the regional Galician channel) for an hour or so each day. Galego sounds pretty similar to Spanish but is perhaps closer to Portuguese in many respects. In fact, Galician and Portuguese are so closely linked that subtitles from Portuguese are not deemed necessary on TVG. So far I have heard a doctor from Oporto explain some medical problem and a Brazilian woman give her viewpoint on the recent Brazilian elections without any dubbing or subtitles.

Last night I was watching an old episode of Os novos (The Young Ones) on TVG. It’s a series which has really dated. Perhaps I’m biased as I seemed to be one of the few teenagers of my generation who didn’t see what the fuss was about in the first place. But this so-called anarchic comedy now appears simply archaic. Surely sticking your head through a wall or hitting it with the nearest object to hand can no longer be considered hilarious. I wouldn’t claim to be a Ben Elton fan by any means but the Blackadder series he co-wrote with Richard Curtis, the writer of daft but not unwatchable British screen hits like Notting Hill and Love Actually, was surely the motormouth's high point. The Young Ones had an immediate and devastating impact when it hit our TV screens in the early eighties but is there anyone out there who would still describe it as great comedy?

Once upon a time music videos were actually capable of being spontaneous and entertaining. This is one of my all-time favourites, featuring Pink Floyd from 1970. I imagine it was pretty much a case of going down the beach with a few daft props and a rough idea, having a laugh and seeing where it went. The result is far superior to The Wall...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eCltXtQD2W0

Do you remember a pre 9/11 air drama in January 2001 when a lunatic attempted to break into the cabin and sieze the controls of a plane in which Bryan Ferry was travelling? Well, at least the incident had a positive outcome. Traumatic shock caused a disc in Ferry’s back to click into place and he has never been troubled by it since. In layman’s terms, this is similar to that well-known cure for hiccups in which a crisp bag is burst close to the sufferer’s ear.

Joking aside, Ferry was lucky. Fortunately his name was not added to the list of rock n’ roll air casualties: Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper, Lynyard Skynyard, Some Fine Noise, etc. Let me know if I have missed anyone out. What is it with rock stars and aeroplanes that makes them such a lethal combination?

At home I have a channel dominated by seemingly omniscient 80’s retro. Much of the music is simply awful of course. Climie Fisher does not restore my faith in eighties pop. Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun may be seen by some as a landmark statement in terms of women’s liberation but it doesn’t do much for me. Robert Palmer’s Simpy Irresistable is far from it with it’s chorus of "She's so fine there's no telling where the money went" - either hilarious or plain sexist depending on what stance you take. On that note, has anyone else noticed a recent proliferation of new music video’s featuring women in stockings and suspenders, etc? I would be a liar if I said I strongly objected to this but scantily clad women do seem to be on the upturn again.

I must confess to spending an unhealthy amount of time watching retro tv - from repeats of old comedy shows to music videos. Anyone who reads this blog regularly will no doubt have observed that it is full of nostalgia and reminiscing. In an attempt to channel this worrying obsession into something positive, I have several writing projects on the go that are set in these, my formative years. Unlike Proust, I don’t care much for fairy cakes. I have a stronger passion for music than food and have found that pop, even the dire stuff, is the best source for remembrances of things past.

Of course, in the youtube era we have more control over what appears on our screens. I think one of the established bands who profited most from 80’s production techniques and a big sound were Roxy Music. I actually prefer the more sophisticated sound they had around 79-80 to their arguably more pioneering but less enduring glam rock period with its punk ethic and Brian Eno’s wailing synths.

Younger readers might recognise this song from the absorbing Lost in Translation. Shame that Bryan Ferry was suffering from back pain at the time. At least he found a solution to the problem with a heat cure that was far more effective then Ralgex. The video is really daft (weren't they all?)but in my view music doesn’t get much better than this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=SA3-KZyLTV0

Still on the subject of football chants I wonder if any fans have adopted the rousing chorus from Chelsea Dagger by the Fratellis? Singing along to this doesn't require a great memory for lyrics and it's surely asking for fan participation along the lines of Tom Hark. To jog your memory of the actual words of the latter, which have been rewritten on many occasions see: http://www.stockaitkenwaterman.com/artists/pira01.htm
Info on the Piranhas is a bit out of date but interesting nonetheless to note they later became novelists, painters and sparkies.

If you don't know how Tom Hark goes or wish to remind yourself then have a look at this tribute to Thierry Henry. Not a bad player although Gary Caldwell had to show him how it should be done last weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPlRNCu20JM

Argentinians, on the other hand, go in for more cultured goal celebrations:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe_-JhL97P0&mode=related&search=

When I heard that UEFA had stopped Celtic playing this anthem, I was racking my brains, trying to think what in the lyrics could be interpreted as sectarian. It transpires that this time it has nothing to do with religion – just money – as UEFA dictate to Champions League clubs what they can and can’t play just before kick off.

Anyway, it was not so long ago that fans were spontaneous and intelligent enough to sing without prompts from PA systems. The first time I heard loudspeakers blaring out the same repetitive tune after goals had been scored could not have been much more than 10 years ago. I was at a game in Kilmarnock and I remember thinking that football (soccer perhaps, to the modern fan) was becoming very American.

I didn’t see the Celtic-Copenhagen game but I expect the Parkheid faithful would have got torn into the song anyway without assistance from the PA system. I certainly hope so. But what next? Fans being thrown out of grounds for singing songs that don’t advertise the right products?

When you walk through a storm,
Hold you head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of the storm,
There's a golden sky,
And the sweet silver song of the lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown…
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone…
You'll never walk alone.
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone…
You'll never walk alone...

Ecrit et composé par Richard Rodgers et Oscar Hammerstein pour la comédie Carousel, le 19 avril 1945.

The Some Fine Noise story is one of the most bizarre in rock history. Shunned by the UK independents in the eighties, the SFN drifted aimlessly around Europe, playing to four men and a marmot in dingy venues until they were taken under the wing of Nevets Retrop – Latvia’s answer to John Peel.

After Latvian independence in 1991, the quirky Moray quintet went from strength to strength, becoming underground legends in the Baltic states, where they fine-tuned their distinctive pop melodies and basked in newfound success.

The Lost Latvia Recordings feature rare early-Noise sessions and live bootlegs from tours of ice rinks and basketball arenas. Latvian youth stomped along to ditties like the upbeat Wine Song, and listened in wonder to the early Floyd inspired Flight 182 to Death.

Sadly, tragedy struck on the last leg of the band’s mammoth tour of the former Soviet Union in 1999. The small private plane carrying drummer Tac ze Cab is believed to have gone down over the Urals although wreckage was never recovered. This has led to much speculation among conspiracy theorists and bizarre sightings of Tac, such as one at a bear bating contest in Kazakstan.

Back in the Baltics, there was a vast outpouring of public grief as the Latvians came to terms with their loss by laying floral tributes at ice rinks throughout the country. Meanwhile, the band’s final single, the poignant Memorial, peaked at no.2 in a week when only Shania Twain’s That Don’t Impress Me Much sold more. If the Lost Latvia Recordings don’t impress you much, nothing will.

Supersonic. The Noise and their entourage on a routine flight.

Single about not getting what you want, struck a chord in post-communist Europe.